Category: Personal

ENNEAGRAM

terpsichoros posted a link to a 2 question enneagram test. I just took it and I think it was pretty close. Here are my results:

The Observer

you chose BZ – your Enneagram type is FIVE.

“I need to understand the world”

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

* Be independent, not clingy.
* Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
* I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
* Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
* Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
* If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
* don’t come on like a bulldozer.
* Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people’s loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a Five

* standing back and viewing life objectively
* coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
* my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
* not being caught up in material possessions and status
* being calm in a crisis

What’s Hard About Being a Five

* being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
* feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
* being pressured to be with people when I don’t want to be
* watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Fives as Children Often

* spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
* have a few special friends rather than many
* are very bright and curious and do well in school
* have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
* watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
* assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
* are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
* feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

Fives as Parents

* are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
* are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
* may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
* may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Packages from Texas

My uncle Billy has always been fond of sending me “interesting” items in the mail. Many of them were of questionable legality in the state of California. For my 18th birthday, he sent me a sword, (along with a scroll with a quirky short story he wrote.) As a graduation present, I received a crossbow. Some of the other items he sent me over the years were a throwing star, padded nun chucks, and a sling-shot (with fore-arm brace). I’m sure you can see a re-occurring theme here.

He didn’t just send me weapons. He also sent what could be described as trinkets which he crafted himself, or strange odds and ends. A copper tea service as a wedding gift, A hand carved piece of wood he referred to as a “toad poker”, a trick pen that zapped you when you pressed the button on the back to extend the writing tip, a wooden fish with a clothespin glued to it, (for holding mail, or recipe cards, or something similar – at least that’s what I did with it.)

I could always tell when a Package from Texas arrived. The scent of tobacco permeated everything inside, and seeped out of the package and into the air. I can walk into my mom’s house a few days before Christmas and be able to say “You got a package from Texas, didn’t you?” just from the smell. I still have things out in our storage area from him which still carry the faint essence of tobacco even now, years later.

I find that I have a fondness for those Packages from Texas, even if I can’t find a place in our home for the items he’s sent. I’ve gotten rid of the weapons (except for the sword, which is peace-bound) and many of the trinkets as well. The items I have kept, I may never find a use for – other than to serve as a reminder to me of the unique individual my uncle was. I’m glad that I’ve kept these, since I doubt that I will ever receive another Package from Texas.

My uncle has not been in the best of health for a long time. He neglected his own health while caring for my grandfather, who’s battle with Alzheimer’s took a heavy toll on my uncle. I think he took it the hardest when my grandfather passed away.

My knowledge of the details are sketchy at the moment, but as I understand it, uncle Billy was scheduled for surgery yesterday. There were complications brought on by pneumonia, and he stopped breathing some time this morning. He is currently on life support, but there appears to be no higher brain function. (I believe the term is “Persistent Vegetative State”) The decision about whether or not he is taken off life support rests with my aunt. And I will support her decision in either case.

Uncle Billy was an amazing man. We have always had a connection that was hard to explain. When he came to California to visit, my sister and I would play hooky from school and spend the day with him at the Academy of Sciences, or the Oakland museum, or Lawrence Hall of Science. When I was freaked out about starting high-school, he knew. He called me a couple of weeks before classes started to remind me that I had nothing to worry about. He showed up for my wedding after initially declining, and I was not the least bit surprised when did. I was so certain he’d show up that I kept him on the seating chart even after we got his R.S.V.P. He was the first extended family member that I called to announce my son’s birth, and Justin shares his middle name.

I love you Unca’ Billy, and I’m going to miss you.

Broken Promise

I broke a promise. On August 12, I wrote an entry in which I stated that I would begin posting a series of entries that I was writing off-line. It’s been more than a week since I said that, and I have yet to post the first installment. The simple truth is that they are not ready to post yet because I’ve stalled out on writing them. What I want to do for the third entry has been especially hard to get going. There’s still something in the way, I don’t know what it is yet – but when I figure it out, I hope, the words will flow more easily than they have so far.

I am still writing. I do not yet know when I will be ready to post. I am not going to let myself drop this. I intend to make good on my promise to finish those entries.

That’s all I have to say write now.
(okay, that was a strange slip of the fingers, I think I’ll leave it “write” as it is… (am I the only one amused by that?))

I think I’m going to go work on somethign fun for a while.

The habit of writing

I have really gotten out of the habit of writing here. To tell you the truth, I’ve barely even visited the site in the last few months. If you look hard enough, you might spot a couple of comments here and there, but my participation has been scant, at best.

I’m working on a short series of entries that I plan to begin posting within the next week. I’m doing something a little different in writing them off-line because I want to take the time to make sure that I am communicating what it is I want to express clearly. A large part of what I have to say is going to be very difficult for me to write, let alone share.

My writing style has never been very structured, which is fine for a majority of what post here, but the entries I’m working on right now are too important for me to not take the time to craft them more carefully than I normally do.

There will be at least three installments. A majority of what I currently have planned as the second installment is already written. That piece was the catalyst for the project I’m outlining here. It needs to be cleaned up a bit, and I need to provide some context for it to really make sense. I started working on what will be the first installment tonight, which is really little more than an introduction. (I just laughed when I typed “introduction” – you’ll understand why after I’ve posted the first installment.) The third installment exists only as a nebulous cloud of ideas floating around in my head, and It’s going to be the hardest part to write. I know that because I’ve tried writing it before, and have yet to be able to do so with any semblance of coherence or clarity.

I suppose you can consider this “installment 0”, or a foreword, or something. It is little more than a rough outline of what I plan to do. It is also a way for me to commit to finishing what I’ve started. By telling the world, (or rather – the small part of it that will read any of this – ) a little bit about what I have planned, I am much more likely to complete it. I made a promise to myself that I would finish this project, and I made a promise to someone else that I would share it. This post is the first step to keeping both of those promises.