Why I’m Not a Copywriter

We had our bi-weekly company meeting this afternoon. Snacks and alcohol are served at the meetings, usually in the form of a keg and an Ice-tub filled with bottled hard ciders. There are also tubs of sodas and water, for those of us that usually don’t drink.

I decided to have a couple of pear ciders at the meeting this week. Afterwards, I headed back upstairs to do a bit more work on a website that is supposed to go into reviews next week. (The process where each department gets to take a look at it before we post it to the live web server.) Anyway, I realized that I didn’t have any copy for the email sign-up section. So until someone gives me that, I wrote some placeholder:


You know you want to sign up for our mailing list. The next few paragraphs explain why. It’s super – neato nifty cool.

There are some more reasons why you want to sign up. Or rather, why WE want you to sign up. Marketing folks love email addresses. It’s like candy to us or something. Sure, we’ll send you updates about when new stuff goes up on the site, but if you’re really interested you’ll probably be checking back anyway.

Since we are an ethical company, we’re not going to sell your address. You’ll only get spam messages from us. Yup that’s right. We’re good little boys and girls over here.

Someone should really keep the webmaster from making up copy when he’s got a couple of drinks in him.

Anyway, before you can sign up for our email newsletter, we’ve got to check your age. Click here to begin.


It amuses me.

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Robert Belknap has been writing online sporadically since 2001. See the colophon for more details.

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