Things I’ve Learned from Fatherhood – Week 1:

Justin has been with us a week as of today. Here are a few things I’ve learned about being a dad so far. (Some lessons just need to be learned the hard way.)

The first time your baby does anything, (even urinate on you,) it’s cute.
If you don’t find it cute, you’ll at least be relieved that all the plumbing is working.

By the fourth time, its no longer cute. It’s not a big deal either.

Baby’s poop. ALOT.

When you think it’s time to change a diaper, (unless you can see the mess already) wait 5 minutes, you’ll be glad you did.

Always have the clean diaper ready to go BEFORE you take the dirty one off.

If you have a little boy, position him so the “business” end is not pointed at you. (Don’t worry, he’ll manage to get you anyway.)

Happiness is a sleeping baby.

Take naps whenever you can, but don’t forget to let your wife take them too.

You can spend hours watching him sleep. (But this time might be better used for napping)

Don’t forget to make time for the other members of your household. (Your wife, the cats, the computer…)

If friends or family call wanting to know if you’re up for visitors, say yes. (Especially if they offer to go to the store for you.) You’ll be glad for the distraction, and they’ll understand when you need to kick them out.

When you go visiting, don’t forget to bring a change of clothes for yourself, too.

The “Pause” button is your friend. (I imagine TiVo would be too, if I had it.)

You will do alot of laundry.

No matter what you do, sometimes the baby just wants Mommy.

Don’t forget about day to day things: paying bills, checking the mail, cleaning the litterbox, grocery shopping.

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Robert Belknap has been writing online sporadically since 2001. See the colophon for more details.

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