Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

This [Link] is another one of those personality tests.

In bars frequented by colossal death robots, you’re always the quiet guy at the back who no-one ever bothers. And for good reason. You’ve fought in several nuclear wars, could beat the sun in a staring match, and have a chin larger than many articles of furniture. Morals are not a concept you understand, but strangely enough, nobody ever questions your judgement. Usually because they’re dead. Even Judge Dredd wets himself when you turn up. Grrrr.

Maybe I’m just in a bad mood.

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Robert Belknap has been writing online sporadically since 2001. See the colophon for more details.

5 thoughts on “Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?”

  1. You are Optimus Prime!

    Vast, red and ready to turn into a lorry at the slightest provocation, you are a robot to be reckoned with. Although sickeningly noble, you just can’t resist a good interplanetary war, especially when Orson Welles is involved. You have friends who can shoot tapes from their chests. Tapes that turn into panthers. And other friends who are dinosaurs. Dinosaurs who jump out of planes. Will you have my children?

    Tell the world you’re an Autobot with the following non-heat-sensitive sticker :

  2. Hool, we’re made from the same …steel, it seems — same result for me, although it said “Note: you’re a feet taller than Hooloovoo” at the end for me. 😉

  3. @1 – guy who sent me the link was Optimus Prime too

    @2 PPPBBBTHTHT 😛 – Now I don’t feel so bad about dredging up an old joke…

  4. Dammit, I’m Robocop 🙁

    Holy Prime Directive, you’re Robocop!

    Well, you’re neither colossal, nor technically a robot, but your arthritic lurching and dubious morals have found their way into the hearts of futuristic rebels and children everywhere. You walk through fire, catch bullets from the air, and you never, ever smile. Combine this with an abstract, almost random concept of duty and honour, and you have a police officer one cannot fail to adore.

    Thank you, Robocop.

  5. Um.

    I dunno how, but:

    Scowling wilfully towards Autobot City, you’re Megatron!

    Look in a mirror and feel the evil. Then eat the mirror. You eat mirrors for breakfast. You are a badass death robot. You busted on Optimus Prime. You. Are. Megatron. Go outside and burn some animals, because you’re worth it.

    Declare your pre-Galvatron-ness with the following non-heat-sensitive emblem:

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