can any php/regex guru’s help me?

I need some help with a small php function problem:

I need a function that does the same thing as pathinfo() [Link] until such time as I can brow-beat someone into upgrading the version of php being used on the server a site I’m working on is going to be published to.

From the function reference found here, it seems like it should be relatively simple to solve using regular expressions. I’m going to take a crack at solving the problem myself, but I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask for help here as well.

Edited on Apr 1st 2003, 01:07 by Hooloovoo

Edited on Apr 2nd 2003, 17:27 by Hooloovoo

Why I’m Not a Copywriter

We had our bi-weekly company meeting this afternoon. Snacks and alcohol are served at the meetings, usually in the form of a keg and an Ice-tub filled with bottled hard ciders. There are also tubs of sodas and water, for those of us that usually don’t drink.

I decided to have a couple of pear ciders at the meeting this week. Afterwards, I headed back upstairs to do a bit more work on a website that is supposed to go into reviews next week. (The process where each department gets to take a look at it before we post it to the live web server.) Anyway, I realized that I didn’t have any copy for the email sign-up section. So until someone gives me that, I wrote some placeholder:

[Quote]

You know you want to sign up for our mailing list. The next few paragraphs explain why. It’s super – neato nifty cool.

There are some more reasons why you want to sign up. Or rather, why WE want you to sign up. Marketing folks love email addresses. It’s like candy to us or something. Sure, we’ll send you updates about when new stuff goes up on the site, but if you’re really interested you’ll probably be checking back anyway.

Since we are an ethical company, we’re not going to sell your address. You’ll only get spam messages from us. Yup that’s right. We’re good little boys and girls over here.

Someone should really keep the webmaster from making up copy when he’s got a couple of drinks in him.

Anyway, before you can sign up for our email newsletter, we’ve got to check your age. Click here to begin.

[Quote]

It amuses me.

Sweet…

We recently used an outside agency to produce on of the websites I’m now responsible for maintaining. They built the site using Flash 5. I need to update one of the flash components on the site, but I only have Flash 4. (Software upgrades have not been the biggest priority for the company lately….)

I just got approval from my boss to figure out how much upgrades for Flash as well as several software packages we use on a daily basis would cost. (HomeSite, Photoshop, etc.) We’re definately getting approval for Flash, and Homesite, and chances are good we’ll get Photoshop and a couple of other things, too.

Echoes of the Web Team

Way back in 2001, I worked with a team of web development types. Collectively, we were the “Web Team”. Then, there were several rounds of lay-offs, finally leaving me pretty much by myself in April, 2002

Anyway, we used to have this whiteboard whic began collecting wierd little quips or statements made by one team member or the other. As the board got filled up, older things were removed to make room for new out-of-context gems. Below is a list I just found while doing a a bit of cleaning. It’s scrawled on an old legal pad in my handwriting. The heading at the top says: “Echoes of the Web Team” and contains what was left on the board after everyone else got layed off:

[Quote]
Yoink!
Fear My Code, Bitch!
Squeeze and tuck
I destroyed my snoot
Hey Look! It’s a monkey!
There will be two paths to submission…
The “We need a name for this contest” contest
Who’s been messing with my big dipper?
YATTA!
Any unidentifiable piles belong to me!
Spanked like a naughty puppy.
[Quote]

Some days, I really miss working with those guys.

Edited on Mar 4th 2003, 02:29 by Hooloovoo

Power Spikes are not your friend.

Something’s funky with the power grid in my company’s building.

Power has been cut to my workstation 4 times in the last 15 minutes, (twice in rapid succession,) forcing my machine to reboot. Others in my bullpen have not been affected, but teams in other areas have.

Kind of wierd watching the overhead lights (the ones that are on, anyway) do thier own version of “the wave” seen at many large sporting events.

Here’s to hopig the power stays on
-Hool